i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
