and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
