There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
