I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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