1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
