i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
