ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
