My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
