We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
