where am i from again
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize