I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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