No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
