puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize