once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
