how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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