It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
