I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
