Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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