I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
