I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
