I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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