just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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