I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
