Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Randomize
