I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
