I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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