I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
