I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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