my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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