I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
