Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize