two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize