This girl is more easily done than said...
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
