A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
