My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
