If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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