WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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