the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
