Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
