All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Mom said you looked used
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
