please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
