Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
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