I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
