i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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