i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
