God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize