I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
