Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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