i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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