I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
