I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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