I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
