Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
