I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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