I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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