walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
