I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
