wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize