so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
