Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
