Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She even gives head with a lisp.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
