I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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