iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
