I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
