At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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