Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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